Fallen Too Far (Chapter Fifteen)

Rush wasn't lying when he said he wanted to dress me. He put my bra back on me and then pressed a small kiss to my shoulder before slipping my shirt over my head.

"I'd prefer you stay out here while I go find Bethy. You have that well pleased look on your face and it's seriously sexy. I don't want to end up in a fight."

More compliments. I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to this from him.

"I came here with Bethy because I was trying to encourage her not to sleep around with guys who would never look at her for more than a fun time. Then you came with us and now here I am in the backseat of your car. I feel like I owe her an explanation."

Rush didn't reply right away. He studied me a moment but I couldn't really read his facial expression in the darkness. "I'm trying to decide if you meant that to sound like you were doing what you encouraged her not to do." Rush moved his body back over mine and slipped his hand into my hair. "Because I've had a taste and I'm not sharing. This isn't just for fun. I may be slightly addicted."

My heart slammed against my ribs and I took a deep breath. Wow. Okay. Oh my. I managed a nod and Rush lowered his head and pressed a small kiss to my lips before running the tip of his tongue along my bottom lip. "Mmmmm, yeah. You stay here. I'll get Bethy to come out here and talk to you."

Again, all I could do was nod.

Rush moved away from me and was out of the door and sauntering back toward the honky-tonk. Before I could catch my breath.

He might think he was addicted but he had no idea how he made me feel. At least he could walk. I'd have never been able to stand on my own two feet so soon.

Sitting up straight, I pulled my skirt back down and scooted over by the door. I needed to get out and move to the front but I still wasn't sure I trusted my legs. Was this even normal? Should a guy be able to make you feel this way? Maybe there was something wrong with me. I shouldn't be reacting to Rush this way… should I?

This was one of those times I really needed a female friend. The only one I had was Bethy and I was pretty sure she wasn't the best person to give advice when it came to guys. I needed my mom.

The ache that set in when I remembered her returned and I closed my eyes to fight it off. I couldn't let that sadness in right now.

The door opened and there stood Bethy smiling at me. "Well, look at you. Making it with the hottest thing in Rosemary in the back of his Range Rover. And here I thought you wanted a blue collar man." Her words were somewhat slurred.

"Climb on in, Bethy, before you fall on your ass out here," Rush said from behind her. I looked over her shoulder. He looked annoyed.

"I don't wanna leave. I liked Earl, or was his name Kevin? No wait, what happened to Nash? I lost him… I think," Bethy rambled on as she climbed into the back seat.

"Who are Earl and Kevin?" I asked as she gripped the headrest and then fell backwards onto the seat.

"Earl is married. He said he wasn't but he is. I could tell. The married ones always have the smell about 'em."

What was she talking about?

Bethy's door closed and I started to ask her more when the door beside me opened. I turned to see Rush standing there with his hand held out for me to take. "Don't try to make sense of anything she says. I found her at the bar finishing up a round of six tequila shots that married Earl had bought her. She's trashed."

This wasn't exactly how I had hoped tonight would go. I'd thought downhome country boys would be different. Maybe treat her with respect. But then she was wearing red leather short shorts. I slipped my hand into Rush's and he squeezed mine. "No need in explaining anything to her tonight. She won't remember it in the morning."

He was probably right. I stepped out of the Range Rover and he pulled me against his chest before closing the door behind me. "I want a taste of those sweet lips but I'm going to deny myself. We need to get her home before she gets sick," Rush said in a low husky whisper.

I nodded. I wanted him to kiss me too but if Bethy was going to be sick then we needed to get her home.  I started to move away from him but his arms tightened around me. "But what I said earlier. I meant it. I want you in my bed tonight."

Again, all I could do was nod. I wanted in his bed too. I might be as stupid as Bethy when it came to men after all. Rush led me over to the passenger's side and opened my door for me. "Fuck the friend thing," he muttered, grabbing my waist to help me up.

Grinning, I watched him walk back around the front of the Range Rover and climb in. "What's the grin for?" he asked once he was behind the wheel.

I shrugged. "'Fuck the friend thing.' It made me laugh."

Rush chuckled and shook his head before cranking up the Range Rover and pulling out of the now packed parking lot.

"I know something you don't know. Yes I do. Yes I do," Bethy began chanting in a sing-song voice.

I turned back to look at her. She wasn't smiling but a clumsy frown was plastered on her face. "I know something," she whispered loudly.

"I heard that," I replied and glanced over and Rush who didn't appear to be amused.  He wasn't a fan of drunken Bethy.

"It's a big secret. A huge one… and I know it. I'm not supposed to but I do. I know something you don't know. You don't know. You don't know," Bethy started singing again.

I started to ask her what it was she knew but Rush spoke up first. "That's enough Bethy." Rush's warning was clear. I even shivered from the steeliness in his voice.

Bethy clamped her lips together and acted as if she was twisting a key and then throwing it away.

I turned back around wondering if she did know something I needed to know. Rush sure acted like she did. He'd looked ready to stop the car and toss her out.

Rush began messing with the radio for some music so I decided to remain quiet. Rush was upset because Bethy knew something she wasn't supposed to know.

He had so many secrets surrounding him. There were things he refused to talk about. We were attracted to each other. That didn't mean he had to tell me all his secrets. Did it? No! Of course not. But once again, was I ready to give a part of myself to someone I didn't really know? He was so guarded. Would I be able to do this with him and not become attached? I wasn't sure.

Rush's hand slipped over mine. I glanced over at him and he was watching the road but he was thinking. I wished I could just ask him. But we weren't there yet. We might never be. Should I give my virginity to a guy who would be walking out of my life soon with no hope of anything more?

"That was the best time, ever. I like blue-collar fellas. They're so much fun," Bethy slurred sleepily from the backseat. "You should have looked around some more Blaire. It would have been smarter on your part. Rush is a bad idea. 'Cause there is always Nan."

Nan? I turned to look back at Bethy. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was hanging open. A soft snore escaped and I knew any explanation to that comment wouldn't be happening tonight.  At least not from Bethy.

I turned to look back at Rush whose hand had left mine and was now gripping the steering wheel tightly. His jaw was also clenched. What was the deal with his sister? She was his sister, right?

"Is Nan your sister?" I asked, watching him for any reaction. He simply nodded but said nothing more. This was what I'd gotten the last time I brought her up. He completely closed down on me.

"What did Bethy mean then? How would us sleeping together affect Nan?"

Rush's entire body was strung tight. He didn't respond. My heart sank. That secret, whatever it was, would keep us from doing anything more. It was too important to him therefore, it was a warning flag for me. If he couldn't tell me something even Bethy knew then we had a problem.

"Nan is my younger sister. I won't… I can't talk about her with you." The way he said "you" made my stomach turn. Something was off here. I wanted to ask more questions but the sadness and loss that washed over me as I realized I wouldn't be sleeping in his bed tonight or any other night stopped me. This would keep me from getting too close to Rush. I should have never let him touch me like he did earlier. Not when he could so easily toss me aside.

We remained silent all the way to the offices. Rush got out of the Range Rover without a word and woke Bethy up. Then helped her inside. It was locked but Bethy had a key. She had mumbled something about staying the night here or her daddy would kill her. I didn't go help. I didn't have the energy. I just wanted to go to bed. I wanted my bed under the stairs. Not the big new one waiting on me.

When he got back into the car he was still silent. I tried to figure out why he would shut down like he did over Nan and what Bethy's comment could mean but nothing made sense. It was only minutes later that we were pulling into the four car garage. I opened my door and climbed down as soon as he put it in park. I didn't wait for him as I made my way to the door. It was locked so I had to wait on him to come unlock it.